Unfortunately, after the removal of the temporary pipe, Lindsay’s life did not improve as he had expected.  Despite Dick’s best intentions to return to work and after making a bright start, within a day, Dick stopped work completely…again!

Aghast and in panic, Lindsay called the woman at the expert diagnostic shop to tell her what was happening. Her advice was stark:  ‘Go back to the emergency department of the shop, get the temporary outsourcing pipe reinserted and speak to the specialist there about a more radical solution’.

Lindsay was very depressed…and so was Dick. It seemed Dick’s future would no longer be determined by his own actions.  It was not clear that he could perform his tasks – any of them – and was at grave risk of being cut off, or replaced altogether.

The specialist at the diagnostic shop said that there was only one solution – thoroughly clean out Dick’s machinery and remove some upstream obstructions (he called it a TURP for some technical reason).  But he made it clear that there were risks for Lindsay.  Dick might not be able to perform all his functions and, even if he did, his performance would be somewhat different from original specifications.

Lindsay was very scared about the risks, even though the specialist told him the risks were small. But he discovered that some of his friends had already had this operation themselves and they said they had no ill effects.  Lindsay also checked Dr Google’s views and they concurred.

By this stage, Lindsay was desperate for a permanent internal solution to the waste management problem. He wanted the temporary pipe to be removed and he was willing now to take the risks, encouraged by all the advice he was receiving.  So he agreed to book in to the shop for the operation a week later.



  1. Six months have passed and the partner of Dick The Elder says to take heart …. All the agony is worth it . Life has improved dramatically for Dick The Elder .
    . The regional repair shop here in Bairnsdale discharged a very sad and anxious customer last August . Poor Dick The Elder had even travelled to Melbourne for his birthday treat that month and then wheeled into Hamer Hall wearing slippers and a track suit.and rug .
    He will recommend this as perfect formal attire for disguising a combination of external pipe work and collection vessels and in this case showed a determination to rob Dick of gloating

    … “I Will Survive ” and enjoy my birthday treat said DTE.

    Too much pipe work over the following weeks dampened DTE’s spirit . He became putty in the hands of numerous young women , met staff at the regional repair shop at midnight on several occasions and became a well known figure at ” after hours ” departments of repair establishments .

    The ” track suit ” became the only dress choice ….. Anything to hide the props for everyday waste management . Letters were written to the experts who had recommended he cleanse his old tubes ……scathing, letters suggesting they had better experience what they told others to do. Why was it that the women who cared post treatment so easily ranked it an 11 on a pain threshold . But all is now forgotten ….

    To be continued . …. Written in Abu Dhabi aiport !!!!


  2. Pam, my great sympathies to you and more so to your partner. But thanks for the confidence that things will get better and I too may be able to journey to Abu Dhabi airport soon.


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