Recently, my wife went away with a group of friends, and I was left ‘home alone’ for 10 days…and I loved it!
A lot of friends approached me during the time and expressed concern. How was I managing? What was I going to do? Didn’t I miss her? When was she coming home? And I received quite a few (lovely) invitations for meals, another indication of concern that I might be unable to look after myself, or that I might be lonely.
Nothing could be further from the truth! I loved my time alone. Being able to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Being able to arrange the house as I wished rather than as she wished. Focussing on my needs, not our needs. It was wonderful.
I’m very happy with my own company so being home alone was not lonely at all. I had a list of pleasurable things I wanted to do, a list of jobs I wanted to do, and I had free time when I could be flexible enough to do things on the spur of the moment – something that is much harder when there are two of us. (You may have guessed by now that I’m a planner, I like lists, I like finishing things, I like thinking more than talking and I’m an introvert.)
I enjoyed having the whole bed to myself. I slept better. I enjoyed walking or exercising when I felt like it. I enjoyed choosing the food I wanted to eat. I didn’t feel guilty going to films, reading late, watching TV. And I didn’t have to worry much about meals because I was invited out every other night, thanks to our wonderful group of friends. And when I was out, the conversation was more around my interests and less around hers, or our joint interests. In fact, by the end of the 10 days, I could barely fit in completing all the things on my list I’d hoped to do. Each day the time seemed to slip by very rapidly.
It’s good for you!
Dear readers, you are probably thinking how selfish I am. But having time to yourself within a partnership is critical to your self-development, your sense of self-worth. AND it is good for your partner too. They get time alone too! To do what they like, without worrying about your needs and wants.
Most couples have at least some separate interests. In fact, ALL couples should have some separate interests to maintain their individuality and personal growth. So time apart is a good way to develop individually as well as growing as a couple. And if you can’t cope without your partner being nearby, how did you manage before they came along? How will you manage if/when they are not there?
We have spent quite a lot of time apart, over our years together, due to business travel, personal trips with friends with different interests, family needs. The time apart makes the time together more enjoyable, because of the variety it gives us both. We always look forward to getting back together, but we also appreciate being separate, being free.
Try it. You’ll like it.