I can’t believe I’m writing this…but, unfortunately, what Trump says about ‘locker room culture’ is closer to the truth than many of us men would like to think. I’ve read strenuous denials from locker room superstars about Trump’s comments, but I’m afraid they are no more truthful than most of Trump’s rants. I’ve never been comfortable in locker rooms with alpha males, but I have to admit that even I do look at women and wonder what would it be like to be with them. Men do think and form a personal ‘f…ble’ or ‘not f..ble’ view. We do ogle women and we do wish. We do share that information. Particularly in all-male environments, wherever they are. Those rating systems that young men have at schools do state explicitly what we do think secretly in some part of our minds, whether at the surface or deeply hidden. So…I’m sorry…I wish it wasn’t so. But Trump is saying what men are likely to say to other men privately, or think when with groups of men. It’s why sexy magazines, celeb pix and porn are so popular. We’d love to f**k those women, at least in our minds.
So what’s the difference between Trump and me?
But there is a big difference (I think, I hope). Trump (and other rich and beautiful people) has the power to do what he wants, to have what he wants. He can exert that financial power to seduce a woman, or to get away with abusing a woman if he wants to (he’d have good lawyers to keep him out of trouble, buy his way clear). And let’s be honest too, women. Many women like men with money or good looks, so they are often happy to be seduced, enjoy the benefits and worry about any unsavoury consequences later.
Most men don’t have the power to coerce women. Or, importantly, wouldn’t coerce them. I might fantasise about an attractive woman I see, but there’s no way I’m going to abuse her. Indeed, I’d probably run a million miles if such a woman showed any interest in me! But I’d probably be thinking along similar lines as Trump, I’m afraid. We’re both men.
Would opportunity change that?
Since we don’t have the money that the superrich have, you and I can be holier-than-thou about how we would treat a woman/women. But if we had it, would we really act differently? They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Given the power, the money, the opportunity, I’m not at all sure…
Trump is a horrible person. But he’s horrible because of his lies, his abuse of all people, his failure to pay tax, his racism, his total incoherency, his total focus on materialism, his complete lack of social empathy and his egotism. But as for his love of being with beautiful women…I’m sorry, but that’s a fantasy I think most men share.