Recently I blogged that you should need a certificate to be qualified to have sex.  Now, the evidence to support this has arrived!  If only I’d known this when I was 20.

The ‘Golden Trio’ of Moves

A survey of 52,000 people aged 18-65 provided the evidence.  While 95% of men orgasmed each time they had sex (duh!), only 65% of straight women did.  But, since 86% of lesbians did, the opportunity to find out why the difference exists for women was able to be addressed.

Only 35% of women orgasmed from vaginal sex alone, while 44% didn’t orgasm from vaginal sex alone.  Further, 90% of female orgasms occurred without vaginal sex.  If only I’d known these facts.  I was also in the 40% of men who believed that women only came vaginally…  too bad for me.

What the researchers found that differentiated women who had orgasms from those who didn’t was what they called a ‘golden trio’ of techniques – genital stimulation, deep kissing and oral sex.  So, if a man wants the woman to orgasm, being aware of this and using these techniques are highly likely to be successful.  The survey pointed out that it also helped if women communicated ‘directly’ with their partners about what they wanted, as individual women varied greatly in their desires and needs?

While many people reading this may say, ‘I knew this’, I would be surprised if this were really true for men. Yet it is men who need this information to be better placed to satisfy women.  Those of us ignoramuses like me have been living a lie.  We might have been successful, but perhaps through luck more than good management.

Which brings me back to my original recommendation, that doing a practical course to learn about sex would certainly make most of us better lovers…and we’d all be happier!  Thanks, researchers (and Guardian Australia writers Nicola Davis and Mona Chalabi) for enlightening us.  We may not admit we didn’t know this, but we just might change our techniques as a result…and that would be great!