Affairs: What do they mean for a marriage?

Publically, we all believe affairs are bad for a marriage…until we have one ourselves it seems….  An insightful book I’ve just read (Esther Perel, ‘The State of Affairs’) casts new light on the varied meanings and impacts of affairs on marriages (or long term ‘relationships’) and gives a very different perspective on how marriage is and should evolve to account for this common critical event, based on her professional practice.Read More »

Advertisements

Why Don’t I Cry?

My younger brother is dying.  It’s a tragedy.  The idea that in mere months he will be gone forever in months at the age of 65 doesn’t seem real.  It is certainly not ‘fair’.  He’s fit, had no major illnesses. Suddenly he’s a victim of anaplastic thyroid cancer, with no hope it seems of any medical remedy.  It’s sad, it’s unfair, it’s sudden, he’s a good person, it’s shocking.  Why don’t I cry?Read More »

Are Work Benefits a Personal Responsibility or an Entitlement?

Recently I’ve come across many cases where people are receiving benefits  that seem to me, on the surface at least, to be rather lucky.  These benefits have varied from grandparent childminding, stress massages, stress days off from work, maternity leave from a potential employer, after hours meals and taxis, paid family holidays, home baby help and more.  People seem to think these benefits are ‘necessary’ to survive their work.  They believe they are entitled to them.

These are all great benefits to receive.  But not everyone can receive them, so there’s an equity question here.  Even more, I wonder whether these benefits are necessary at all.  Why does this generation need these benefits, to be provided by someone else?  And who should be responsible:  people themselves, their employer, or the government?Read More »

AUSTRALIAN CITIZENSHIP ELIGIBILITY FOR MPs: FIX THE PROBLEM, NOT THE SYMPTOM

So now we have 8, or is it 9, and will it be more, Federal MPs whose eligibility has been questioned, because of their dual citizenship status.  It’s good sport, watching MPs being embarrassed at being potentially or really ineligible, through them not have done enough research on their heritage, despite having signed the forms to say they have.  But it’s the wrong focus.  Parliament should fix the problem, not the symptom.Read More »

Photos: How the World Has Changed

I used to love taking photos.  My house is covered with pictures I took that people admire.  But digital cameras and now smart phones have changed all that.  I’ve upgraded to an iPhone 7 with its ‘great’ camera and abandoned my digital SLR,  but still, I no longer love the pictures I take.  Anyone can be a great photographer…and the value of photography and photos has plummeted.  Can photos recover?  What should I do?Read More »

THE LAST QUARTER: IS LIFE LIKE SPORT?

Out walking the other day, I thought about my life and realised that I was entering the ‘last quarter’ of my life.  In sports, you come to the last quarter, knowing what you need to do to win, or else you lose.  But in life the last quarter is not about ‘winning’ or ‘losing’.  What is it about?  And, since we don’t know its length, how do we play the last quarter?  And I felt that I didn’t know how to play this last quarter.  What should I do?Read More »

DEAR JOHN: WHY DID YOU DESERT ME?

Dear John,

After 35 years without seeing you or hearing from you – my best friend through high school, university, early work years, my best man – I came to see you give a public lecture a few weeks ago when you came to town.  Somehow, our relationship all went wrong and you deserted me without a word.  My life has changed.  I thought I might try again.Read More »